I’d sincerely like to apologize for my lack of posting and my lack of motivation to write. Life’s been kinda crazy for the past few weeks. Chadwick Boseman dying of cancer, the shooting of Jacob Blake, the civil unrest, the political divide, covid, old people on facebook trying to tell me to not wear a mask because the mask might kill me and it’s a symbol of oppression for the dictator governors to keep people in line or whatever dumb conspiracy they’ve come up with. Not to mention I work 5 days out of the week and any day off I get is usually dedicated to running errands or attempting to relax and unwind. This all leads to some pent up frustration which is currently being let out on the people around me. Tragic, I know. Finding better outlets for my stress has been a struggle and a half for many years.
It doesn’t help that I chose a career in an entirely service-based industry. I’m an introvert so things like that can exhaust me. And then friends and family want to hang out. I usually choose to just watch tv in the evenings in an attempt to unwind from the day. I’ve found that writing has really helped me vent about all the things I’ve been feeling. It helps me focus and at the same time I am addressing my emotions (aka: processing them properly).
Now to clarify, I don’t feel helpless or depressed or anything. I just feel overwhelmed. That might have something to do with the fact that I went months being unemployed or working part-time retail and then going 2 months in quarantine which involved doing nothing but small activities to pass the time. It’s amazing what jumping head-first into a full time job will do to your energy after being complacent for the first 6 months of the year.
I don’t have anxiety attacks as much as I did when I was younger. I do have fits of anxiety sometimes if I get super overwhelmed, but it mostly presents itself as anger or frustration more than your average symptoms of anxiety. Many times, I’ll get irritated with my clients for asking for something different halfway through the haircut. It wastes my time and pushes back my appointments. But afterwards when I’ve cooled down I realize it’s not actually frustration with my clients. It’s frustration with myself. It’s also frustration that something didn’t go as I had planned out in my head.
Cutting hair requires a lot of planning in your head. When you’re consulting with your client about what haircut they want, you have to imagine what it will look like, think about what tools you will use, think about what angle you’ll cut the hair. It takes planning. I haven’t been in the industry long enough to be used to dealing with the change of haircut. It takes time and it takes a lot of adjusting (going with the flow so to speak). I’ve been coaching myself on how not to take criticism to heart but what about when the criticism isn’t being said? When the criticism is coming from your own thoughts and you’re assuming that the client is judging you, what do you do in that situation?
These are not questions with blatant answers. Most of you reading this probably don’t know what I’m talking about and you probably definitely don’t cut hair. But I feel this can be applied to your own personal life as well like when you feel someone is judging you and you begin to judge yourself. Being self aware means dragging yourself back from those thoughts and realigning.
So let’s not take things to heart so much. Let’s try our best to stay positive and remember that everyone around you is learning and growing.